Telling it like it is

For the time being, it would seem the threat of making flights even less bearable than they already are, has passed. The FCC has firmly rejected cellphones on aircraft. Whatever the excuse they gave, technical or otherwise, they admitted they were surprised by the "hundreds of thousands" of comments they received from air travellers "almost all of which were negative". So all those self-righteous goons who believe they're so important that they need to use a cellphone everywhere, at everyone elses expense, here's a message for you. You don't matter. Nobody cares about you. You're all losers because you don't have the common manners to excuse yourself when your cellphone rings.

There are some things you hear or read about, and your initial reaction is "that must be American" because whatever it is, is so crass, retarded, boorish or stupid that no other nation could have come up with it. Welcome, then, to pet yoga. Yes, you too can now take your pet to yoga classes. I mean come on people. It's not bad enough that you dress your dogs up in stupid clothes, clip their ears and tails for "fashion" and cross-breed totally inappropriate breeds so you can give them stupid names like "shitpoo" (or whatever the cross of a schitzu and a poodle is). Now you want to make your pets feel even more worthless by forcing them to do yoga? Only in America. Story.

That's ended nicely then. Iranian president Ahamajibberinidiot has released the captured UK marines. That's going to sting Bush where it hurts. His excuse just walked free, unharmed. Of course it would have been nice for us to have been told the whole story about the US marines who 10 weeks ago (11th January) botched a kidnap attempt in Iran so badly that they ended up with 5 junior diplomats instead of the two high-ranking security officials they were after. And how the US is still holding those 5 junior diplomats claiming they're intelligence agents. But that in no way has any bearing on recent events and to think so would make you an unpatriotic communist traitor. The Whitehouse hasn't bothered with the truth in this country for 7 years so why start now? The actual story, as totally unreported anywhere in America

It used to be that if you wanted to photocopy something like a receipt, you'd plonk the receipt in the copier and hit "go" and out would come a piece of paper with a copy on it. Not any more. Unable to sense document size is what came up this morning. No matter what I did, it wouldn't even scan the receipt. So I defaulted and put a piece of paper behind the receipt and tried again. Document size sensed 8.5 x 11 it reported, scanned the copier screen and gave me a nice warm piece of blank paper. ? Try again, same thing - blank piece of paper. So I turned my original around 90 degrees and tried again. Document size sensed 11 x 8.5 . Good sign, but again, a warm, blank piece of paper. WTF? Try again - same thing. At this point I notice that the copier has in fact been changed over the weekend and this new one apparently needs the paper aligned with the right side of the glass, not the left like every other copier on the planet. So I slide the paper over to the right