Nice to see our security guards are as bright as ever.

I'm so glad we have security guards at this company. They're so bright. The make the place that much more secure.
Well - on paper at least.
In reality, not so much. If they were doing their job, they would have caught the bastards who hacksawed the catalytic converter off Mike's Toyota last night. But no - sitting in a warm office seems to be the limit of their capability. Mike's now faced with a multi-thousand-dollar bill for a new cat.

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