Apr 23, 2004 | | 0 comments |

Update. CNN now claims 54 dead and 1200 injured when two train cars (ie. not trains) carrying dynamite (ie. not LPG) came into contact with a live wire (ie. didn't collide).

So - 100% failure for CNN as usual.

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The CNN Random Number generator is working well at the moment. After the explosion in N.Korea yesterday, CNN reported 3000 dead and 7000 injured, and the explosion could be heard 700 miles away in the DMZ.
This morning they reported 100 dead and "several" injured.
As I type this, they report "several hundred" dead and "several thousand" injured.

Interestingly, the Korean websites have maintained the "100 dead, several injured" number all the way through. Looks like CNN are making shit up again.

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It's like a broken record. Need I confirm that Utah Power sucks? The power is out again this morning for no real reason. A fuse on the power pole behind our hose blew itself to pieces, probably because it could. 3 hours later and Utah Power still haven't managed to do anything about it. Give me a ladder and a leather glove and I'll fix the fucking thing!

Apr 20, 2004 | | 0 comments |

Ok so I had this really weird dream last night. Wil Wheaton, Bruce Willis and I decided to rob a casino in Las Vegas. Our weapons expert lived at the north end of the strip and informed us how we could make an explosive that would leave no traceable residue. The explosive was evaporated alka-seltzer and the catalyst was pop-rocks candy. It gets weirder. To activate it, we had to shoot the mixture with a bullet (?). So we managed to find the safe house that this casino used for it's cash-in-transit, and blew our way in with our unorthodox explosive. As we started to empty the safe, it started snowing outside (in Las Vegas??). The cash was in colour-coded military ammo boxes - the lower shelves had red and blue ammo boxes with the higher value bills in them, so those were the ones we emptied into our 4 duffel bags. When we'd finished, we noticed there were only 3 duffel bags, and as Bruce Willis and I had been the ones emptying the safe, we presumed Wil Wheaton was the guy who'd snaffled the fourth one. As we made our escape through the snow, we used a broom to sweep the walkway after us so we'd leave no footprints, and we went back to our normal lives. Bruce Willis ran a limo service, Wil Wheaton was a down-and-out living in a $20-a-month room, and I was just me. Eventually we informed the FBI and CIA and framed Wheaton. When it became clear to him on the day of his arrest that he was never going to see daylight again, he rolled and told us where we could find the fourth duffel bag. And then my alarm went off and I woke up.

Like I said - weird.

Apr 19, 2004 | | 0 comments |

This is just retarded.
A top Saudi official has assured President Bush that his country will increase oil production to lower gas prices before November to help the president's re-election prospects. Prince Bandar bin Sultan, the Saudi ambassador to the United States and a long-time friend of the Bush family, has given the pledge that "certainly over the summer, or as we get closer to the election, they could increase production several million barrels a day and the price would drop significantly."

Of course Bush will spin this into "we brought down the price of oil - vote for me"......