Jul 16, 2008 | | 0 comments |

God: prove it.

I rest my case.

The continuing saga of Honda Civic Man


This morning, White Honda Civic Man pulled up behind me to turn left and suddenly realised he recognised my car and pulled back out in to the main flow of traffic to go straight on. Naturally he didn't use his mirrors so the petrol tanker behind him jammed on the brakes and started to jackknife - I scurried through the intersection to avoid being collected by the trailer. I've called the police again.

Bringing people to task

Jul 15, 2008 | | 0 comments |

It seems my white Honda Civic driver from yesterday wasn't doing something rash as a one-off occurance, but it looks like his normal M.O. This morning I saw him again but he was three or four cars in front in the queue on Foothill. Today he decided he was not going to sit in the queue so he forced his way across to the right lane and off up a side street. Now when I saw 'forced' I mean "FORCED" as in there wasn't a gap in the traffic, so he just turned right and ran a gold sedan up on to the kerb whilst at the same time nearly killing a cyclist. His biggest mistake of course was performing this stunt in front of me. Now I have his license plate number. I've called the police and told them to look at the traffic camera for yesterday's incident and reported his psychopathic driving style of today. They asked if I would be prepared to watch for him over the coming mornings, which of course I will be. I'll watch this little fucker all the way to jail if I have to.

Well colour me surprised.

Jul 14, 2008 | | 0 comments |

You could have knocked me down with a sledgehammer. I got home tonight and there was a cheque from the Bush Regime. Apparently the economic stimulus wasn't a hoax after all. The insane man is helping to bankrupt the country by giving money away. Fantastic. That'll go straight in the savings then. Well it will assuming the cheque doesn't bounce and isn't covered in fine print.
I'm not sure what he hopes to achieve with this though. It's not made a jot of difference to my opinion of him and only an insane person would actually spend it in this economic climate.

It's getting harder to be a good person.


When you're surrounded by total assholes, it gets harder and harder to be a good person.
I've driven the same route to work for the last 6 years. There's one particular junction which has two left-turn lanes, a kerb and then a right-turn lane. Today, the driver of the white Honda Civic behind me decided that the traffic wasn't moving off quickly enough when the light went green, so he went in to the right turn lane, then drove straight on and forced the Ford pickup in front of me to brake suddenly as he forced his way into the left lane in front.
Why is it that these people can get away with this crap when regular law-abiding people like me would get the attention of the police for picking my nose and driving at the same time?
It just doesn't seem fair that total assholes get away with ruining other people's daily lives with no comeback, no accountability, and not a care in the world for who they harm or piss off in the process. The hapless goons that populate the police now could care less either. This cunning stunt happened right in front of a police cruiser and the so-called "officer" inside watched him do it, heard the ensuing horns, and then stared sternly at me for using my horn and avoiding a crash. What. The. Fuck? In what universe? In what altered reality? In what drug-addled, police-corrupted, empowered-by-a-badge haze of arrogance is this possibly my fault?

Why should I stick to the rules all the time? Why should I be the one who has to brake to let these idiots in? Why can't I just hammer the accelerator and t-bone these idiots up on to the kerb and leave them in a twisted wreck of burning metal? It's the least that they deserve.
Why is it always my responsibility to avoid the crash that they are trying to cause? Why is it my responsibility to not run over the pedestrians jaywalking in the road, instead of their responsibility to not walk in the road in the first place? Why is it my responsibility not to reverse out of a parking slot over a pedestrian and not their responsibility to perhaps not walk behind a reversing vehicle when it's already moving? Why is it my responsibility to chase a customer service department instead of their responsibility to - you know - provide customer service?

Why is it always my fucking responsibility?

It was the same in England. Day in and day out - surrounded by low-grade, knuckle-dragging, zero-IQ idiots everywhere getting away with stuff which degrades the life of others. And could they care? Of course not. For most of these people it's a surprise that they can stand up straight and breathe at the same time. They certainly don't have the mental capacity to think of others.

I'd like to believe that most people are fundamentally good, but it's getting harder to defend that viewpoint because I'm beginning to believe now that most people are self-centred idiots with the IQ of a mushroom, who are largely out there for no other reason than their own personal gain at the expense of everyone around them. I believe a large percentage of the population are so clueless about the concept of society that given the chance, they'd simply shit their pants rather than use a toilet because "it seemed like a fun thing to do." These are the same people that watch Pop Idol, and America Can't Dance, and Ugly People Who Are Misguided Enough To Think They Can Become A Model, and all the other pre-scripted "reality" shows on TV. They contribute to the spiralling downfall of society by talking loudly on cellphones in public, by driving like dickheads, by shopping for cheap chinese crap at WalMart, by behaving like total assholes in public, and by having children not so they can nurture new life and have a family legacy, but so they can acquire more money for themselves because more childern means more cash in government handouts.

One day one of these people isn't going to be so lucky. Someone is going to cut me off, walk out in front of me, do something stupid in a line of people, blame me for something that's their fault or otherwise do one of the many other things that they do on a daily basis.

And I'm not going to be responsible. I won't avoid the crash. I won't get out of the way. I won't say "excuse me" or "sorry" for something that's their fault. I won't bend over and take it up the arse from these society-ruining pricks any more.

I think I'm going to revel in that day when it comes because someone is going to get everything they deserve. All you blind pedestrians, you makeup-applying women in cars, you cellphone-talking morons, you customer-abusing companies, you trumped-up, self-important, holier-than-thou dickheads, you religious zealots who think your book of fiction is absolute truth, you Walmart-shopping, baby-factory, rummaging-through-other-poeple's-rubbish scum - you should probably watch out because one of you is going to suffer at the hands of someone like me one day. It will be publicised on TV and radio, and in the press, and on the internet, and you won't be able to defend your stupid actions. The lawyers won't be able to get you off. The money won't be able to bribe the officials, and your cellmate with the 12 inch Nigerian penis extension won't have vaseline.

When that day comes, those of us trying to lead regular law-abiding lives, those of us who have to spend our every waking moment compensating for the arrogance and petty dickheadedness of people like you - we'll party like it's 1999.