Best. T-shirts. Ever.

Feb 28, 2009 | | 0 comments |

Well - if you're a film / sci-fi nerd at least. There's three in here I particularly like - Weyland Yutani, Offworld Colonies and Tyrell Genetic Replicants.

Last Exit To Nowhere T-shirts.

Deltalina's safety video.

Feb 27, 2009 | | 0 comments |

I had to post this after seeing the Delta in-flight safety video on YouTube. The video stars aeronautical beverage engineer Katherine Lee, who for some reason the press now refer to as Deltalina. Apparently they think she looks like Angelina Jolie. Can't make the connection myself. Apart from which, the first time I saw it written down, I thought it was pronounced Delta-liner - gave me amusing mental pictures of her having plenty of capacity for passengers. Then when I realised it was Delta-leena, I thought of Thumbelina.

The video itself is so condescending it's like they're talking to a bunch of 3-year-olds. I especially like the no smoking gesture - as if to say "na-ah you naughty little boy". Eesh. Then there's the rampantly gay bloke with the life vest. His sparkly teeth when he holds the seat cushion are just cringe-worthy. The video is clearly the product of an ethically-correct management seminar because it strains to cover all major races, both sexes and a wide spread of age groups. It's not at all subtle.

Anyway, this is Katherine Lee - photographed front three-quarters giving the condescending "no smoking" gesture. She's not an unattractive woman:



Now watch her safety video and marvel at the apparently botox-induced inability to produce any facial expression other than "happy alien". I remember the first time I saw this new video on a Delta flight. When she came on-screen, the entire cabin visibly sat back in their seats away from the screens, all with a slightly horrified look on their faces. It's unfortunate - is it plastic surgery and botox gone bad, or is it just be that they chose to video her in about the most unflattering camera angle and lighting possible? She comes on after the pilot with the wig:

Charging people to poo on a plane?

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Everyone's favourite airline - Ryanair - are considering charging people to use the toilets on their planes. It's not bad enough that they never fly on time, have the worst leg room of any airline and allow cellphone use, now it's going to cost to take a pee?
RyanAir - Fucking Cheap.

Maybe they'd be interested in this safety video:

More airport security theatre.

Feb 25, 2009 | | 1 comments |

Enough is enough. Salt Lake airport are about to install these millimetre-wave backscatter full body scanners. I just can't see the point - they're still going to make us take off our shoes, belts and coats and put our bags through the x-ray machine. Then they'll still randomly pat people down and make us walk through the metal detector too.

I'll use that machine if they let me walk in to it with my bag, dressed as I was when I arrived at the airport. If they can't do that, it's a pointless waste of technology, not to mention a gross invasion of privacy. Apart from anything else, they'll stop using them in 6 months' time because of the added delay. We had those puffer machines here for a while - those are all either broken or out of service now because of the time it took to use them and the delays it caused at the security line.

What irritates me more than anything is the people they get on TV to ask about this sort of stuff. "Well I suppose if it makes it safer for me to fly, it's OK I guess".
No - you're a bloody moron. It will do NOTHING to make it safer to fly. To believe for one second that x-raying our shoes, taking off belts, removing laptops from bags and handing in liquids in any way makes flying any safer is such a ridiculous notion that I have a hard time conceiving of anyone is still dumb enough to fall for it. For the love of all that I hold dear - STOP LIVING IN FEAR! It's truly pointless.

It's all for show - the TSA are a talentless bunch of idiots working for a for-profit organisation, who know nothing about security and everything about pissing people off and slowing down the airport process for no good reason.

Put your bag on the x-ray belt, with the laptop in it, and walk through the metal detector fully clothed. We need nothing more than that. Well - that and security staff who have a higher IQ than a trained rabbit.

Pimp my Element, 2009 stylee.

Feb 23, 2009 | | 3 comments |

Like. Might get.

Snip, trim, adjust.

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I just saved some more cash on our satellite bill. Years ago we had a single-channel, single-TV receiver and I just noticed that I've been paying $5 a month for it for the last three years. Oops. My bad. On top of that, I removed a bunch of HD channels we never watch, removed a DVR "service fee" because I asked them to (they only remove it if you notice it on the bill then phone and ask), and added a $3/month credit that appeared in the mail. Result : saved $17 a month. Sweet.