Telling it like it is

"What not to wear is one of those love-it hate-it TV shows. Paula likes it, I think it's only one step away from Fox's "The Swan". Basically, two lushes go around telling people what they should wear, how they should do their hair and how to spackle on layers of makeup thick enough to form a good road bed. I don't think I'd find the program so bad if the two hosts had half an ounce of common decency between them. Instead, they dress themselves like extras from the Magic Roundabout then have the gall to tell other people that they're the ones who've got it wrong. It's like an English, female version of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy where a bunch of promiscuous shirtlifters scare the living crap out of some ordinary straight guy and for the sake of TV, make him dress up like one of the Village People. Ok so What Not To Wear isn't that bad. In terms of offensive "fashion" TV, it's got to be The Swan, then Queer Eye, then Wh

Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger of Germany has been selected by the Roman Catholic church as the new pope. The CNN "Vatican ChimneyCam" (yes - very corny) showed white smoke billowing from the chimney about an hour ago and the bells started ringing. Cardinal Jorge Arturo Medina Estevez of Chile made the announcement to a cheering crowd in St. Peter's Square. Ratzinger has taken then name Benedict XVI. He appeared on the balcony of the Vatican Basilica to greet the people and deliver his first papal blessing. He's a spritely looking chap too.

Prince Charles was driving around his mother's estate when he accidentally ran over her favourite dog, a corgi, crushing it to a pulp. He got out of his Range Rover and sat down on the grass totally distraught. The whole world was against him and now his mother would go ballistic. Suddenly he noticed a lamp half-buried in the ground. He dug it up, polished it and immediately a genie appeared. 'You have freed me from thousands of years of imprisonment,' said the genie. 'As a reward I shall grant you one wish.' 'Well,' said the Prince, 'I have all the material things I need, but let me show you this dog.' They walk over to the splattered remains of the dog. 'Do you think you could bring this dog back to life for me?' the Prince asked. The genie carefully looked at the remains and shook his head. 'This body is too far gone for even me to bring it back to life. Is there something else you would like?' The Prince thought for a minute, rea