Telling it like it is

So I'm enduring the bloody mess that is terminal 5 at Heathrow at the moment. It's a mess because, like all UK airports, actually traveling is the last thing this place was designed for. Instead it's awash with high end shops and eateries where you can't get anything as basic as a bacon sandwich. I could have a tuna nicoise with elegant salad flowers and rustic artisan bread if wanted, and if I had £10 to spare. Or I could spend £2 for a bottle of coke, or £6 for a fancy coffee. But basic food is nowhere to be found. Even the pre-packed sandwiches are fruit to sound clever. It's ham and bloody cheese, not mediterranean this and authentic southern that on a wholemeal fair trade something or other. Also as with all UK airports, the passengers are treated like children. They refuse to post the gate numbers until half an hour before the flight leaves. The airports think that forcing everyone to sit in a cramped shithole will make them go and use the shops...

Things are bad. Really bad. The country roads are plagued with drivers who are terrified of going faster than 45mph. The motorways are clogged with police vans and average speed cameras forcing everyone to do 50mph. Even the motorcyclists seem to have lost their balls; I had a group of them pull out in front of me at Box Hill this afternoon. "No problem - they'll get away quickly" I thought. But no. They accelerated at bloody walking pace. The police state has destroyed driving for everyone over here. Then there's the cost of fuel. Filled the rental car today and it cost me $132 for 15 gallons! How can people afford to drive? New police and council powers mean that councils can go through your rubbish and fine you if you put the wrong thing in the wrong bin. They can spy on you without warrants and CCTV cameras have tripled or quadrupled in number in the last few years, but crime has skyrocketed so they're still doing no good. Short term loan rates are running at ...