R.I.P TechTV.

Nov 13, 2004 | | 0 comments |

ComCast have finally pulled the plug on "Unscrewed" and most of the other old TechTV shows, so G4TechTV is basically now G4 again. Pre-pubescent wankers with no sense of humour, delivering programmes with no content.
Apparently ComCast are concerned about why their viewer figures were so low, and decided it was because of the remnants of TechTV. Hence the decision.

??

Tilt.

Must be run by a Texan to have those sort of blinkers on.

Doubletalking.

Nov 11, 2004 | | 0 comments |

ABC showed Saving Private Ryan tonight, and the run-up and pre-show warnings were classic litigation-prevention doublespeak.
"Saving Private Ryan, uncut, with limited commercial interruptions" was the first spiel.

Then came the black screens with big print white text and the voice of doom.
"Due to graphic depictions of violence, and language, this film is not suitable for younger viewers. Parental discretion is advised."

Then came the next screen.
"The content of this movie has not been editted for television. Due to language and graphic depictions of war and violence, viewer discretion is advised."

Then to the next screen.
"This movie has been editted for television. It has been modified to fit this screen and editted to run in the time alotted."

Well wait a moment. Did you just tell me on the previous screen that this move had not been editted?

Then to the final screen:
"And now, uncut, uncensored and uneditted, ABC presents Saving Private Ryan".

So now it's uneditted again?

Then for the final piece of two-faced "we don't know what we're doing" action - the film was indeed largly uncensored. The Normandy beach scene had all the amputated limbs, guts, exploding heads, blood, gore and intensity of war. Great. Until the first person opened their mouth - "Sir - what the [deathly silence whilst actor quite clearly says 'fuck'] are we doing here?"

Hmm. So exploding human guts full-screen is fine, but "Fuck" is not.

And then I switched over to Fox.

Here boy! There's a good dog. Roll over.

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Tony Blah is hopping on a plane to become the first foreign dignitary to come visit "President" B*** since his re-appointment.

Wait.

Hang on - I'm working up to it.

Nearly there.....

Here it comes - I've mustered shock and awe...

Wow!

That was a shocker. Nobody expected Tony "The Lap Dog" Blair to heel at B***'s beck and call did they? No. Not at all.

Goodbye Yasser

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Arafat -- who was deathly ill, not deathly ill, in a coma, not in a coma, dead, not dead, brain dead, not brain dead, awake and communicating, dead again, then alive and well, then in a coma is now actually dead.


No, really he is.

Power vacuum to maximum, middle east go boom. Big 'splosions. End of world.

WingNuts

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Just watched a new show on Discovery called "WingNuts" about a company who take old aircraft parts and make them into art and furniture. Typical confrontational style - two of the guys don't get on etc.etc., but if you look past that to what they're actually doing, it's a fascinating show. Well - for me anyway. Their website is at www.motoart.com.

Rebel Billionaire

Nov 9, 2004 | | 0 comments |

Wow. Just watched the first episode of Rebel Billionaire on Fox. For once they have come up with a killer show. It's brutally honest and one of the contestants is a local guy who runs LoveSac here in Salt Lake City. I guess he doesn't win because he's here live on TV right now and if he was the winner - that wouldn't be so.
Branson is using the might of all of Virgin to play the game, and he's doing all the same stunts and challenges as the contestants. "I wouldn't expect the contestants to do anything I wouldn't do" is his philosophy.
Not sure about the prize being to run the Virgin Companies - I suspect that's a bit of an exaggeration, but who cares? The show is awesome. Who thought you'd ever say that about a Fox show (apart from the Simpsons) ?

Hello Yasser...

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Arafat -- who was deathly ill, not deathly ill, in a coma, not in a coma, dead, not dead, brain dead, not brain dead, awake and communicating, dead again, now reportedly alive and well insist French doctors.

I think that means he's dead. That huge sucking sound you can hear from the middle east is the sound of the power vacuum.

Another "roll your eyes" moment...

Nov 8, 2004 | | 0 comments |

In the continuing theme of "we're America so we'll do what we damn well like", the US is now ready to put weapons in space, ignoring the treaty banning precisely this development. Now that couldn't be anything to do with the incumbant "president" could it?

Meanwhile, the train crash in Berkshire was obviously pretty big - it made it on to the local news here in SLC last night! Even though Hope Woodside pronounced Ufton Nervet as "Unford Nervay".