Day of the copier pt.2

Ok what the hell?
I needed to use that stupid photocopier again this morning, this time to copy something simple - 3 sheets of paper. So I stacked them in the document feeder, right side up and pressed 'go'. The machine woke up and spent about 5 minutes sounding like a diesel tractor, then the screen went blank and up popped an error message : "Document handler unavailable - please remove documents".
?
Ok so I removed the sheets of paper and it spent another minute or so making horribly mechanical noises and then the screen went blank and up popped an error message : "Document handler empty - please insert documents."
Anger rising.
Fine. I put the paper back in the document feeder. Click. Whirrrrrrrrrrrrr. "Document handler not available - please remove documents."
At this point I gave up and opened the top to try to do each sheet one at a time and even this came at a price. It couldn't sense the regular 8.5x11 paper I'd put in even though it was on the proper side of the glass, oriented correctly and ink-side-down. I had to manually tell it what size paper to use and even then it bitched that the paper tray was empty. I pulled it out and guess what ? Brim-full of paper.
So I unplugged it and waited a minute or so then plugged it back in. Despite still being 'warm' it went through another 5 minutes of diesel-like noises before it was ready to cock everything up again. This time the document feeder worked, but only for the first two sheets. It couldn't/wouldn't feed the third one so I had to do it by hand. I ended up with two copies on one type of paper and the third on a different type of paper because apparently, buried in the guts of this idiotic machine there are two different types of paper.

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