Spam updates

On October 26th last year, I blogged about the sum total of spam I'd had to date. I felt a little update would be amusing.
According to the spam, I now own 521 Rolex replicas, 88 Luis Vuitton handbags, $122.1bn in Nigerian cash and have a 4.4mile long penis. I also have 608 mortgages totalling some $180,302,200, 22,400 years supply of Viagra, a stash of porn tall enough to reach mars, and 73 hours of video of "Busty young amateurs". On top of that I'm lucky enough to own part of 201 timeshares, have been on a staggering 47,205 blind dates, and have a humidor stuffed to the rafters with over 65,000 Cuban cigars.
Those are updates from last year. New for the previous 12 months, I apparently now have had 244 holidays with free airline tickets, dated 801 "fuckbuddies" in my local area and received hot stock advice on 529 different companies. I own enough Prozac, Valium, Cialis and Viagra to start a drug dealership. I have been specially selected in 356 online promotions to receive 812 laptops, 444 PDAs, 1,844 iPods, 29 Plasma TVs, 69 cars, 62 holidays and a year's supply of M&Ms. I've also become best friends with the wives of many people slain by dictatorships all over the world, and have laundered a staggering $8.6bn in rebel cash through my bank accounts. (The late Yasser Arafat's wife was so impressed that she personally emailed me over 500 times).
And finally, I've been pre-approved for another 344 mortgages and 651 credit cards.

Man I'm so well connected.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Hope tries the just-out-of-the-shower look.

Next up : the oxygen surcharge.

Jennifer Wilbanks - crazy-eyed cracker.